How long must I perservere in prayer?

How long must I perservere in prayer?

Given some personal circumstance, it has challenged me in what I believe. I need to have a stance which will reflect a strategy in the spirit for the days ahead. It is a question I have mulled over for quite some time. I've swung the pendulum far in both directions on this one - from God will do what He wants predestination fatalism to all-night prayer marathons in order to change God's mind. Neither are right. And I don't even know that those are the only 2 sides...

Recently the Lord pointed me to this scripture:

Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’”
Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:1-8)

This was reassuring - we have a righteous judge who will come speedily. But, what happens when it feels like He isn't coming quickly? We're in a situation where something is dragging on and on - how do I pray? I used to pray for what I wanted, or what seemed 'godly', and prayed until it came to pass. And if it didn't? That lead to being quite deflated, or worse. Often times I found myself offended with God. So now what?

I have been reading a book by Wayne Jacobsen called 'Naked Church.' Taken from the chapter entitled 'Clothed with Power', he addresses this very issue which really spoke to me:

God's power is released by his activity, not his ability. God can do anything. His power over creation is total and complete...Faith doesn't rest on what God can do but on what he is doing. Abraham was commended for his faith, not for the son he wanted, but for the son God had promised... (See Romans 4:21)
That's why intimacy is the link to God's power. Until we see what God is doing in a given situation, we have no basis to be confident about its outcome. Jesus himself lived that way: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does" (John 5:19). God wants us as well to know what he's doing, so we can cooperate with him.
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As long as you're convinced of God's desire, stay with the need...To learn perseverance, we must stop seeing our prayers as requisition forms laid on the desk of a supervisor...True prayer is the vehicle by which God brings his power into our circumstances...How long should you persevere? Until you are convinced that the outcome matches God's desire.
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Perseverance also means standing with peope if the hoped-for miracle doesn't arrive...

Perseverance is key. How long? As long as it takes. How long is that? Only the Father knows and will tell us through relationship and intimacy with Him. That's the part that's tough for me. Prayer must continue until His will is carried out - but first I must be in tune enough to know His will! And then doing this alongside others? That's an even higher level of perseverance! How often do we not see God's will come to fruition because we don't persevere? How often do we miss it because of offense?

Back to the grind...

Grafted In

Through the experience in recent weeks and preparation for our son to come home, we've been reading materials on adoption. So many things have struck me in how you "tie the strings" with an adoptive child that I took for granted with our biological children. But as I read about these things, I realized just how much it parallels our journey with our Heavenly Father.

We're "grafted in" as Romans 11 talks about. We're adopted into His family. I'm seeing more and more the choices I have made along the journey is what our adopted children will need to do with us. I came to know the Lord in my late teen years. I had 18 years of living apart from Him to draw some pretty ridiculous conclusions about this world and how it operates. It isn't reality in God's kingdom, but it is my reality because of conclusions I drew through experiences in this life. Paul says he saw "dimly." We do, too. Our adoptive children will be in that same boat - they will be our children, but will see dimly as to the reality of what it means to have us as their earthly father and mother. It will require months and months of training. It will require such simple things as mom and dad serving dinner on their plates so they understand where provision comes from. There are so many things that will need to be re-trained in them because they have been fending for themselves, groping in the darkness.

Likewise, I see dimly because of the garbage I hold on to from my past and won't reliquish control and trust my adoptive Heavenly Father. This life is to be a life of freedom - it is designed to be resting in the "getting to", not "having to" under the yoke of fear, religion, or obligation. This is why we see dimly - we operate under the bondage of our old ways. This is another strong parallel - as parents, drawing them out of the old patterns and mindsets of fending for themselves, or living life for themselves, or trying to earn acceptance through works, or whatever the case may be...it is no different for us who are being grafted in to His family.

I know it is a finished work at the cross, but this is still a process of understanding how we are defined in Him and learning to cooperate with Him. Satan's game has always been the "if" game - "if you do this, then..." God has already paid the price in full and given us this gift - the ultimate gift of grace and freedom - and it involves nothing but rest.

Trying Not to Waste Trials

Growing to trust God is the essence of true spirituality, and fortunately he understands how difficult it is for us to learn that. Jesus will teach you how to trust his Father with the same patience that he taught his own disciples. Two kinds of experiences will be important here. First are those times when God provides for you or uses you in ways that leave you overwhelmed with his greatness and goodness.

Second, he uses those situations in which you are challenged by need so great that you know you are powerless to resolve it yourself. Don't despise those moments or blame God for them. He doesn't create them. They simply result from a world out of synch with his desires that fall alike on the just and unjust. He will, however, use everything in your life, including your difficulties, to teach you how to trust Him more freely.

That's how Paul measured his troubles: "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even unto death...But this happened taht we might not rely on ourselves but on God...He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us." (2 Cor 1:8,9)

Taken from The Naked Church by Wayne Jacobsen pp.112-113

I read that today and it really spoke to me, so I thought I'd share. I don't want to let any trial go to waste - this is the stuff He uses to shape us. I finally see it...

"Don't despise those moments or blame God for them." I spent much of my life angry. Much of my relationship with God was rooted in anger toward circumstance. If things were going my way, I must be walking in the blessing and was pleased with Him. But if things took a turn and became hard, I became hardened. I'm sure that produced quite a testimony to those around me of peace, joy, and love...

So here we are today. We just came out of a time where God used us in ways that left us overwhelmed with His love for us and others. Now we find ourselves headed toward challenges so great that we are powerless. He is working all things together - it is fascinating to watch as He unfolds each day along the journey!

The Author and Finisher

"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. Matt 5:8 MSG"

It has been an excruciatingly long 3 days since Oleysia departed. Many things have happened in those 3 days that have lead to some excitement, fear, and uncertainty with how this whole story is going to unfold.

God has been taking us back through the 2 year journey of adoption. I won't get ino everything here, as there are so many details that are probably only meaningful to us, but as we see the story unfold, we can see God's hand all over it. The most important revelation came to me this week concerning our present situation:

When we started over 2 years ago saying, "We want to adopt a sibling group from Ethiopia"... He was with us.

When we were told we had to put our adoption on hold because of pregnancy, and we were hurt because it was better for a child to languish in an orphanage than be with us and our newborn...He was with us.

When the paperwork needed to proceed with the adoption - the paperwork that if we had it at the time of pregancy they would have let us proceed - came just weeks after...He was with us.

When Jenn stumbled on New Horizons hosting program, and since we couldn't proceed with adoption at that time, we felt at least we could host...He was with us.

When Jenn had questions about different children on the waiting list for hosting, and hadn't heard from anyone at the hosting program, Jenn found a number on their website of a man who happened to have adopted from Oleysia's home and told us about Oleysia...He was with us.

When Oleysia was here, and we were all loving on another and cherishing the time together...He was with us.

He was showing us all this to help us see that He has been in the midst of it all. He showed me a picture 2 years ago of a game of bejeweled. It wasn't until recently that He gave me understanding of that picture - He is taking a mess of stuff and moving pieces around to bring things together and fall into place. Today I can see how he *could* make things fall rapidly into place and we could walk in favor that would be beyond imagination. I also see how we could get news that would hurt incredibly badly, and it would prolong the journey even more. And it isn't that I lack faith for the "beyond imagination" part - this is His story, not mine. He is the author and finisher of our faith. But He also lead us to Luke 17 - He is a righteous judge who will move swiftly...will He find faith in the earth? I think He's finding it here - I can honestly say I'm resting in Him, no matter the outcome...doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt...but He is with us.

We prayed several months ago that our heart would break over the things that break His heart. Today we sit, totally broken...but He is with us.

And now...our court date is slipping consistently for getting our little guy home from Ethiopia. Famine is ravishing the horn of Africa.

Oleysia must make some incredibly difficult and painful decisions, sacrificing something of her old life, or sacrificing what could be and is already here...some crazy stuff for a very young girl...but He is with her, and His is with us.

I'm excited, but also scared of what lies ahead...but I know He is with us.

He is with us.

3 Days to Change a Life

My life has changed forever! We are hosting a beautiful, wonderful girl from Latvia for 5 weeks. After only 3 days, I knew this was our daughter, whether she ever comes to live with us or not. There is a long, tragic story that lies behind a beautiful smile. For her sake, I won't share much of it here.

I have cried more in one week than I have in my entire life. Oh how I love this wonderful girl! My heart's desire is for her to be here, but she has some very big decisions to make. This is where the Lord has had me for most of her stay. For one, I try in my mind to figure out all the things that have to come together for her to be here. At the same time, wonder if that is something she would even want...the Lord just told me to live today to it's fullest - for tomorrow has enough worry of it's own. It isn't August 4th, yet - the day she goes home. Children are masters of living in the moment and living for today, fully dependent on their parents for everything - this is where He wants me - full trust.

But the other, more sobering thing Father has been showing me has unveiled through conversation with her and getting to know her story. Almost 13 years ago, here in America, two naive newlyweds in their late teens were about to have their first child and discover what a loving heavenly Father can do for 2 people who trust in Him. In a world away, another little girl was born, destined for life with many more trials, turmoil, and tragedy. This world is a really cruel and an unfair place. At 12, this girl must choose between remaining in an orphanage with a fractured family that visits sporadically while sticking with the familiar, or become a part of a new loving family at the expense of living half a world away from everything she has known her whole life. This world is a scary place for someone at 12 with no boundaries, no discipline, and no one cheering them on and encouraging them.

My heart breaks for this little girl. It isn't fair that at 12 she has to make decisions that will chart the course for the rest of her life. Life isn't fair.

I think the sadest part for me is she doesn't know anything different. Her reality is living in an orphanage. She told me not to be sad for her; that her situation is "ok." It's NOT OK!!!! I want the world for her, I'd do anything for her, buy her anything.

There are so many things God is sharing with me through this time. Things that are helping me grow as a father and as a person, as well as growth in my children, and ways to help her. I just pray that I can survive August 4th - the day she returns to Latvia.

Grass, mowers, and coming to the end of oneself

There I was, sitting in the middle of my yard overwhelmed by the lawn and all the work around me, having discovered yet another snake slithering through in the backyard earlier in the day. The grass was about 6 inches tall again. I had borrowed a tractor from a friend to mow the yard about a week prior. I remembered as I was riding it thinking this is what I needed here. I had tried to figure out a way to sell the 3 or 4 pieces of equipment I had that were broken down in order to muster enough money to buy something more suited for our property. I didn't have any money. It was my 25th attempt at fixing the lawn mower I had. I was tired. I had a million other things to do. I lamented to God. I remember telling Him something like, "Basically the only way I see this working out, Father, is if someone just drops by with something - I know you can do that...and I think that's what it's going to take, because this isn't working. I've had enough!" I finally finished by saying, "You put us here in this place, and this is where you want us, so if this is true, you figure out how to get this lawn mowed. I'm finished!" At that, I walked in the house and didn't give another thought to the jungle overtaking us.

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (Matt 5:3 MSG)

That's where I was...at the end of my rope. I wasn't full of angst, worry or anger - just finished. I wasn't going to worry about it anymore...it was God's problem, whether I lived in a snake-filled house and yard, or could lose the children in the lawn within 4 feet of the deck - wasn't my problem - God could handle it.

I spent the week telling my children how God cares for us. There were a few fights to break up over "this is mine" or "that wasn't fair" and my response as of late has been to relax and just trust. God has been showing me to trust. He cares for us, he knows the number of hairs on our head. He'll take care of things if we let Him. He said to seek him first, and he'll add that other stuff to us - but seek Him first. Relax and trust, learning to live in the love of the Father...

Then I got a call from a friend this week. He told me to stop by because he had something to give me. When my wife asked what it was, I joked and said it was a car. Well, was I shocked when it was his lawn tractor! The thing is worth more than my car!!! He had said God told him to give it to me, that God wanted to love on me. I was absolutely shocked and humbled! I was taken back by my friend's willingness and obedience. It was so awesome to be able to hear about how God was using this to shape my friend and at the same time knowing what He was up to here.

Nothing is wasted with God! It absolutely amazes me how He is able to work all things together and that He does do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!

Offenses

And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

But he said to Him, “Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.”

Then He said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me.” (Luke 24:31-34)

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This passage amazes me. I'm not sure why it escaped me before, but here is Jesus preparing for the cross and has one friend sell him off to the government for a few bucks, and another who was about to say he didn't even know him! All the while, Jesus remained calm and forgiving.

Father has been showing me as of late how I have room to improve in this area of relating to people who will let me down. Jesus addresses Peter here as "Simon" - I'm not sure if Jesus is indicating that Peter is about to operate in the flesh and not exactly the "rock" in which the name Peter means. Jesus always looked to his Father for everything - he didn't need people. I'm sure in that instance, I would have been angry with Peter, trying to figure out which other misfit had to be the start of this ministry I was trying to start. I would have to settle the recent "who is the greatest" argument by assuring them they're not as great as me and that they'll get this ready at some point, all the while being incredibly let down and angry with God because of where He had led me, possibly questioning if I had missed a step along the way and was out of His will.

So whatever happens in this life really pales in comparison to what Jesus walked through for us. The point being, though, is the same power in him now resonates in us!