Lessons Learned - a Retrospective

In my work, we have "sprints" and at the end of the sprint, you meet and have a "retrospective" to discuss what we've learned.  This is a lessons-learned of sorts - a retrospective of the "beauty" of our last 3 years.  I can see the beauty and how it prepares us for the road ahead.

August of 2011, the people my wife and I were is so very, very different than from who we are today.  Praise God!  But it came at great cost.  We were naive, excited, and filled with home and expectation.  Had you told us then what would unfold over the next 2 years, we would have turned and gone the other way.

Your word is a lamp to my feet    and a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105 ESV)

God planted the seed of living out "this day" and begin to slow down.  July of that year, He was speaking to us about how to relax into life as it unfolds at the same time, breaking our hearts with what breaks His.  And as we collectively do this - corporately - that's the church.

Second, he uses those situations in which you are challenged by need so great that you know you are powerless to resolve it yourself. Don't despise those moments or blame God for them. He doesn't create them. They simply result from a world out of synch with his desires that fall alike on the just and unjust. He will, however, use everything in your life, including your difficulties, to teach you how to trust Him more freely.

That's how Paul measured his troubles: "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even unto death...But this happened taht we might not rely on ourselves but on God...He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us." (2 Cor 1:8,9)

Taken from The Naked Church by Wayne Jacobsen pp.112-113

Momentary light afflictions.  The overcoming life.

Perspective and Truth

Nothing like a new year and a bout of unemployment to give oneself time to reflect.  I've been pondering many things over the past few days, trying to gain perspective.

So what exactly did Adam and Eve lose in the garden?  What if what was lost was simply perspective?  It says in Genesis "there eyes were opened."  Opened to what?  Their nakedness.  They weren't covered.  Fear.  What if all that occurred was that there eyes were opened to fear?  Instead of being totally enamoured with the goodness of God, they were now had fear, fully engage in the fear of lack, fear of evil, fear of God witholding every good thing....which that would be a lie, right?

Where does this battle reside?  The mind.  I believe that is why Christ died at Golgatha - the place of the skull.  Symbolic - His triumph coming by way of a cross at the house of the mind.   We must crucify our minds, taking our natural reasonings - our thoughts - captive.

Jesus said, "I am the Truth."  Reflecting on the events in our last couple of years, I can't help but ask the question, "What did I learn?"  A friend of mine said, "You'll see the beauty in time."  For the longest time I thought to myself, "yeah right," and told God to take a seat while I sorted things out.  But now - I can see it.  I can see the beauty.  But what exactly is that beauty?  I know the Truth.  The Truth was with me through circumstance.  The Truth carried me through circumstance.  The Truth has taught me who I am.  The Truth has set me free.

For years, I bought into a lie of thinking that freedom came by way of knowledge.  Sure, I dressed it up in a much more spiritually gorgeous cloak, but at it's root - I wanted knowledge about the truth.  In doing so, I missed knowing the Truth.  I would study scripture to learn the rules, understand the principals of the kingdom, then apply them to my life, thinking that if I abided by the truth, clung to an expectation of an outcome, things would work out.  See, my definition of this journey hinged on acquiring knowledge of truth, all the while not really knowing the Truth.  Faith meant conceiving an outcome that I desired, then clinging to that outcome and praying for it will all I had.

It left me empty, exhausted, and ultimately mad at God.

In time, I discovered what was at it's root.  It's no different than what Adam and Eve fell victim to in the garden.  Fear.  Someone once said to me, "Fear is faith for things you don't want."  Isn't that so true?  So why is it so easy to have faith in the things we don't want, but yet so hard to have faith in the Truth?  Every good thing comes from above.  He wants us to know how intimately He knows and loves us.  He wants to shower us with blessing!  The cross gets us back to the garden - no seperation.  So why do we still live in fear?  Why do we think God is trying to withold something from us?  Why do we think God is waiting for us to slip up, just to rip away a blessing?  Fear.  Wrong perspective.

Jesus said, "I am the Truth and the Truth will set you free."  He also said He'd leave behind the helper which would "guide us into all Truth."  Jesus didn't say, "I have a truth."  Jesus didn't say, "I have the truth/"  Jesus didn't say, "I know the truth."  He said it as if it were a state of being.  He *is* the truth.  Paul said we're dead and Christ indwells within us.    

So why is this so hard to understand?  I couldn't help but wonder, "How many of us are free?  Why aren't we free in the church?"  We're still afraid He'll keep us in the dark.  We're afraid we'll miss something and He'll withold some sort of blessing.  So to distract ourselves, we do all sorts of stuff - some "good", some bad.  But we fill the void with stuff.  All the while, trying to navigate that tightrope will of God....fear.  Paul said there are two forces - love and fear.  Which one rules us?

I'm begining to realize what Truth is.  I'm discovering who I really am in Him, peeling all the layers away of fear, seeing who I was created to be in Him.  I was created in His image.  He is pleased with me.  That's enlightenment.  That is True freedom!

Offenses

And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

But he said to Him, “Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.”

Then He said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me.” (Luke 24:31-34)

b
This passage amazes me. I'm not sure why it escaped me before, but here is Jesus preparing for the cross and has one friend sell him off to the government for a few bucks, and another who was about to say he didn't even know him! All the while, Jesus remained calm and forgiving.

Father has been showing me as of late how I have room to improve in this area of relating to people who will let me down. Jesus addresses Peter here as "Simon" - I'm not sure if Jesus is indicating that Peter is about to operate in the flesh and not exactly the "rock" in which the name Peter means. Jesus always looked to his Father for everything - he didn't need people. I'm sure in that instance, I would have been angry with Peter, trying to figure out which other misfit had to be the start of this ministry I was trying to start. I would have to settle the recent "who is the greatest" argument by assuring them they're not as great as me and that they'll get this ready at some point, all the while being incredibly let down and angry with God because of where He had led me, possibly questioning if I had missed a step along the way and was out of His will.

So whatever happens in this life really pales in comparison to what Jesus walked through for us. The point being, though, is the same power in him now resonates in us!

Healthy Expectations

The Lord seems to be building on several themes throughout these Friday night watches, and what the Spirit is speaking throughout the week. This week the Lord bringing some things together.

"Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all who were carried away captive, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters—that you may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the LORD for it; for in its peace you will have peace." (Jeremiah 29:4-7)

For many, it feels as though they live in Babylon, carried away in captivity. To look at political climates, condition of the church, school systems, government, etc., can be pretty bleak. We must be praying for our cities. A harvest is being made ready. If we pray for the peace of our cities, we will reap what we sew.

Likewise, Hebrews 11 makes Abraham an example of one who "desires a better, that is, a heavenly country." His perspective was from a heavenly mindset - focused on "the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God." That's where we need to be.

"You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the LORD your God chastens you. When you have eaten and are full, then you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you." Deuteronomy 8:5,10

This part still remains a bit elusive for me. How in our western culture, enjoying the blessings from God and "have eaten and are full", how do we still operate in faith? Seems like a delicate balance.

Now for the meat. Over the last few weeks, the Lord has impressed heavily the word in Revelation 3 which says "strengthen that which remains" and to be "watchful." I believe the Lord is testing those in the body to bring us to the end of ourselves with expectation, and to see how heavily we will rely on Him.

I know personally, and in talking with a few close friends, the Lord seems to be squashing our expectations. Every time I seem to have a bit of hope for something or someone, those expectations are being smashed. I believe this is of the Lord - it is a testing to see if in spite of circumstances, of things unfolding completely different than we expect, or things we've hoped for fall apart, will we continue to trust in Him. This is the test. To those who overcome, they are promoted.

Looking at
Judges 7, we see the account of Gideon trimming down the army. It is interesting to me that the first thing he does to trim the army is to remove those with fear. I've heard it said "Fear is faith for things you don't want." So true. If our faith is greater for the things we fear, then that's a hinderance. We must operate in faith as an overcomer. The next thing is how those who drink. For those who drank in a position of watchfulness, they were kept.

To those who totally lean on Him in faith, they will be fit for service in the army outlined in Joel 2. I truly believe that is what the Lord is preparing in these days. God is showing us the cost of being a true disciple. Will we stand in the gap for our cities? Will we fix our eyes on Jesus? Will we embrace chastening? We must weigh our options. We are being given a choice right now - will we enlist for service?