Finding Community

If you find yourself enamored with the idea of starting community, you'll inevitably control it and stifle it.  But if you merely love the people God puts in front of you, soon enough you'll find yourself in the midst of community without even trying.  Let Him take are of community - He knows we need it and it will happen.  If we lose yourselves, it is there that we find Him and we are cared for.

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for. You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. -Matt 5 MSG

Evangelism

I have given some thought to evangelism as of late.  I have listened to discussions on the hour in which we live, who to share with, and how to share.  How would I "share" Jesus?

I thought of an allegory of sorts.  If Jenn, my wife, was always talking about her groom, and someone wanted to meet me, it could look like any of these scenes.  These are some takes on how I would have described Him in the past...

"You've come to meet my groom-to-be?  He is so wonderful.  He is kind and compassionate, always listening.  He is so wonderful.  Let me

  A.) take you upstairs to his room.  I'd love to show you his room.

  B.)  take you into the kitchen.  I can show you our calendar and how many activities we do together.

  C.)  take you upstairs .  I have all his love letters to me bound together in a book.

  D.) show you my jewelry box.  He has given me so much jewelry.  Then I can show you all of the gifts He's bought me over the years.

  E.) show you all the things he's done around here.  He's so good at doing my honey-do list!

  F.) get you to help me with all this stuff I need to get done for him.  I know if I don't do all this stuff and stay busy, he's going to get mad.  But he's so wonderful.

   G.) go get him and introduce you to him.  We can sit back and take a rest, all of us together.  He has blessed me in so many ways!

I think if I was at the door, and the response was A-F, my initial response would be, "Did he die?  Has he left on vacation?  Why can't I meet him?"  Maybe that's where the world is with His bride.  Kind of reminds me of Elijah, mocking the folks worshiping their idols and waiting for their false gods to deliver them.  Or, is it what Jesus said?  Have we waited too long, so we've started beating each other up (Lk12:45)?  I think we have emotionally and spiritually in our hurts, angst, and disappointments...

I can remember in the early part of my walk, if someone asked about my journey, I'd tell them where I went to church, tell them about a pastor or teacher, or all the things we did at the church.  But as I moved into the discipline of prayer, I made my list of what I wanted or what other people wanted and took it to God.  Many times that led to disappointment when my list didn't get done just as I wanted.  Then we moved into charismatic flavors of the church, and it was all about the gifts.  You have to move in the gifts.  And you better be busy pressing in, praying for stuff in a certain way for a certain length of time, or else He'll get mad and smite our state, town, country, etc.  And if it is really important, starve yourself - He'll change His mind if He sees His bride starving herself!  Then, let's make the form different - as if religion at home in a home church is any different than any other religious institution.  Wayne Jacobsen likes to say, "At least the Pope is in Rome." 

Let's call sin for what it is - It is doing anything apart from Him.

I have been there myself [heartache for the lost], I know their deal and devotion; their problem is not their passion, but their ignorance.  They are tirelessly busy with their own efforts to justify themselves while blatantly ignoring the fact that God already justified them in Christ.  -Romans 10:2-3 Mirror

The message puts it this way:

I readily admit that the Jews are impressively energetic regarding God—but they are doing everything exactly backward. They don’t seem to realize that this comprehensive setting-things-right that is salvation is God’s business, and a most flourishing business it is. Right across the street they set up their own salvation shops and noisily hawk their wares. After all these years of refusing to really deal with God on his terms, insisting instead on making their own deals, they have nothing to show for it.

Sound familiar?  Paul could write that today.  God's terms, be still and know Him.  Rest.  Enter into His rest.  It still means works - fruit - but through faith.  It's effortless.  If it is works without faith or *for* Him, without entering His rest, it's exhausting.  Rest apart from Him is merely laziness and life in the lust of the flesh...and that's not rest!

The culmination of this journey is summed up in a Person.  Not in the word.  Not in the law.  Not in experiences.  Not in gifts.  Not even in blessings.  I'm thankful for all those things as a bonus to the Person of Jesus, and the relationship with Him.  Unfortunately I still stay too busy to see Him in everyday unfolding of life.  Today has enough worry of it's own.  See what unfolds as He puts things and people on our hearts.  Live loved!

Freedom for others to journey themselves

I'm fresh off a visit with a friend who is going through a transition in life and, quite frankly, considering some pretty bizarre things. I'm not quite sure how to handle it, but it is reminding me of how we need to give one another freedom to have our own journey.

If anyone had the right to demand conformity and obedience, it was Jesus. He had his band of misfits and never once demanded anything of their person. He walked along side them, in all their faults and misgivings. He wanted people to follow Him out of conviction of their heart and conscience, not because he was able to effectively threaten or manipulate them. Love wins. Jesus modeled that the joy of participating in the Father's family was far more life-giving than strict obedience and conformity.

This is what won over the woman who was facing being stoned (John 8). "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." The only one who was without sin, the only one to remain, did not throw a stone. "Vengeance is mine says the Lord." For some reason, this provided some sort of solace for me - like God would nuke my enemies as long as I could keep my cool! What if vengeance is His, and He chooses not to unleash it? This was the case with that woman - by the law, she deserved the punishment. Maybe our view of Him and His wrath is scewed? Anyway, the point here is that Jesus didn't condemn, but gave her the freedom to be won over by love.

Paul demonstrated this as well. "We have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. By setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God."(2 Cor 4:2) Ephesians 5:21, Paul tells us to "submit one to another."

By letting others have their own journey, we can be honest with ourselves and with others in how we see things differently. We can allow our conscience to lead us. We can love, even when we don't agree. This is part of submitting ourselves one to another.

Lessons From the Trenches: The Joy of the Breakthrough!

Let me apologize up front.  This is out of order.  I have 4 more entries awaiting publishing, but I proofread them and they just look like they were written by an angry, bitter guy.  So context will come within the few days...but hopefully written from the perspective of a guy with a little more grace and peace.

So we've been pleading with God, going bonkers with anxieties and fears, and having way more questions than answers in the last few months.  Questions of "what will we do if he never comes around - never really attaches or acts like a son?"  I can hear the cliches concerning "God's will" concerning our situation - things are bad so we must have missed something or done something wrong or didn't prepare sufficiently.  I don't think things are that cut-and-dry.  Sometimes we can do everything "right" and it still turns out badly in our human eyes.  The events over the last year have really changed by perspective.  We live in a fallen world and bad stuff happens everyday, all the time.  God is with us.  Truth is absolute; my understanding of Truth is not.  I see dimly.  


I'm also haunted by the words of a great friend who said his son, similar to ours but 25 years ago, never came around.  His son opted to live in defiance.  My friend is broken still today.  I don't want to be him - I don't want that story.  That scares me.  But God showed me something - it took 4 months to really understand fully before the lightbulb finally went off.  Of all my friends who love the Lord and are walking with Him, there is one friend in particular whom I would say I look to, honor, and respect the most.  He's a true spiritual giant in the land.  He's gained great wisdom over the years, and he's finishing strong now in his 70's.  He doesn't have a mega-ministry, a radio show, or some great following.  But it is this friend that I look at his relationship with his wife and how he cherishes her - I want that.  It is this friend that I turn to for wisdom - he has a ton of it, but says he has none.  It is this friend whom I respect his understanding of spiritual warfare the most.  It is this friend who has the prodigal son whom he's still waiting to come home and his heart still aches.  And it is this friend whom I envy the most with his relationship with the Lord.  He knows God, and God showed me why - my friend became a friend of God through embracing his trials that he endured throughout his life.  He lived through the heartbreak of having a son who never really came around.  He gained God's perspective of how He sees us - He loves us all,  we're His sons and His daughters, but some of us just never come around.  My friend is continually telling me, "Don't focus on circumstances, focus on what He is doing in and through you through circumstances."  I get it.

This walk is supposed to be about deepening a relationship with Him.  Sometimes relationships hurt.  I asked to become a friend of God.  He is faithful.  We are so new in this process of adoption and we still have hope of things coming around.  A breakthrough came this week - my fears and the cloud with it has been lifted.  No matter the outcomes of trials in life and how it doesn't look like what we expected, He loves me and will continue to teach me to trust in His love throughout this journey!

Ethiopia: One Anothering

Our trip to Ethiopia made an impact on me in so many ways. One of the biggest things that struck me about the people in Ethiopia was that they seemed to have a genuine care for one another and really enjoyed each other.

Someone from Ethiopia said that we (Americans) measure a day by how much we get done, but in Ethiopia they measure a day by how many people they get to talk to and how many lives they touch. This was evident throughout our stay there. They understand the art of "one anothering". I realize there is a balance, but all too often we in America fall prey to the to-do list and forsake relating to one another.

I recently finished reading the book "Authentic Relationships, The Lost Art of One-Anothering" by Wayne Jacobsen. It is an absolute must-read in my opinion, but an Ethiopian would probably be completely befuddled as to why someone would write such books, especially in "Christiandom", about how to make time for relating to people. We in America have allowed productivity to eclipse relationship, and the church is sadly no different in many cases. Church is not a task, not an array of programs, not a meeting, nor a place. We are the church. A group of folks walking along side one another in a journey. This was just another opportunity along the journey for Him to show me more of what that looks like.

The first day, as our friends prepared a feast to celebrate our arrival, they invited the taxi driver to share the meal. He stayed and ate as if he was just another member of the family. We spent 2 days visiting some of our sponsored children with Children's HopeChest. During our travels with them, the driver was out along side us, spending time with the children as well. At one place, our child didn't speak Amharic but spoke some other dialect, but our driver was right there with us and able to translate for us!

We had an issue on what was supposed to be our last night. Our flight was canceled, but since we had a late checkout of 6pm, we opted to spend the day as planned and ask the hotel when we returned to just give us another night. But when we returned late that afternoon, we were told that the hotel was overbooked and we would need to get out. With news that we were to get out of the hotel in an hour, our new friend of just 24 hours took it upon himself to go out with the driver and find a place for us to stay. He told us, "Just relax, this is Ethiopia - there are plenty of places to stay." Those words burned in my ears - just relax? But that is what has been reiterated over, and over, and over to me in the last year - just relax. Relax into a life lived loved with our Father in heaven. Over the next hour, it was one of the finest examples of "carrying one anothers burdens" that I had ever experienced, as our friend tried finding us a place to stay.

God was showing me in such small ways how He orchestrates things and makes things work out. My wife and I noticed a woman on our flight headed to Africa wearing an adoption t-shirt on the flight - and lo and behold that woman and her husband just happen to be at the guest house we ended up at that final night. Or I met a woman at the money exchange counter at the airport, and we met again on the flight home. They may have simply been coincidence as it seemed nothing of great significance came as a result of these encounters, but what struck me was that even in the midst of the busy-ness of a city of 6 million people, He is at work orchestrating things if we just slow down enough to make time for one another and to see His hand at work in our lives.

He is amazing! In such a brief trip, it was overwhelming all the things He was showing us. The purpose was to meet our little guy we're adopting, but it was so much more. We enjoyed conversation. We made some new friends. We got to know those around us - I hope we can retain that back here in the states!

How long must I perservere in prayer?

How long must I perservere in prayer?

Given some personal circumstance, it has challenged me in what I believe. I need to have a stance which will reflect a strategy in the spirit for the days ahead. It is a question I have mulled over for quite some time. I've swung the pendulum far in both directions on this one - from God will do what He wants predestination fatalism to all-night prayer marathons in order to change God's mind. Neither are right. And I don't even know that those are the only 2 sides...

Recently the Lord pointed me to this scripture:

Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’”
Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:1-8)

This was reassuring - we have a righteous judge who will come speedily. But, what happens when it feels like He isn't coming quickly? We're in a situation where something is dragging on and on - how do I pray? I used to pray for what I wanted, or what seemed 'godly', and prayed until it came to pass. And if it didn't? That lead to being quite deflated, or worse. Often times I found myself offended with God. So now what?

I have been reading a book by Wayne Jacobsen called 'Naked Church.' Taken from the chapter entitled 'Clothed with Power', he addresses this very issue which really spoke to me:

God's power is released by his activity, not his ability. God can do anything. His power over creation is total and complete...Faith doesn't rest on what God can do but on what he is doing. Abraham was commended for his faith, not for the son he wanted, but for the son God had promised... (See Romans 4:21)
That's why intimacy is the link to God's power. Until we see what God is doing in a given situation, we have no basis to be confident about its outcome. Jesus himself lived that way: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does" (John 5:19). God wants us as well to know what he's doing, so we can cooperate with him.
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As long as you're convinced of God's desire, stay with the need...To learn perseverance, we must stop seeing our prayers as requisition forms laid on the desk of a supervisor...True prayer is the vehicle by which God brings his power into our circumstances...How long should you persevere? Until you are convinced that the outcome matches God's desire.
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Perseverance also means standing with peope if the hoped-for miracle doesn't arrive...

Perseverance is key. How long? As long as it takes. How long is that? Only the Father knows and will tell us through relationship and intimacy with Him. That's the part that's tough for me. Prayer must continue until His will is carried out - but first I must be in tune enough to know His will! And then doing this alongside others? That's an even higher level of perseverance! How often do we not see God's will come to fruition because we don't persevere? How often do we miss it because of offense?

Back to the grind...

The Lie of "Likemindedness"

As part of this growing measure of freedom, I see more and more flesh that has been inhibiting me from truly loving my Father and loving my neighbor. The latest thing is in the area of fellowship. For years, my persuit of "community" and "fellowship" involved finding a church filled with some likeminded people and sharing in that agreement. What I didn't realize, was the driving force behind that was really a need to be validated in what I was doing. Even though that desire to be with likeminded people in certain spiritual areas wasn't bad in and of itself, the folly was where I realized I was needing to be validated in that by something other than Father. Ugh! What were we to do?

I've been contemplating lately about the people who have crossed my path in the journey and how for some we're still together, for others we've just drifted apart after a season, others left in offense, others yet I was offended with and fled.

Doctrine and Relationships: Part II

I heard a cartoon recently that basically went something like this:

Frame #1: A man turns to his friend and says, "I'm going to get closer to God." His friend says, "How are you going to do that?"
Frame #2: The man grabs a ladder and stands it up.
Frame #3: The man climbs the ladder as someone else is holding the ladder. A crowd begins to assemble and asking, "What is this man doing?" His friend says, "He's trying to get closer to God!"
Frame #4: Someone from the crowd asks the man holding the ladder, "Who are you?" He answers simply, "God."

I know I have been guilty of this. There was this drive to "do something for God" when He is simply desiring to be in relationship with Him. He began showing me some of my heart.

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." (John 14:15, 21 NIV)

I believe I've had a true relationship with the Father throughout what I believe to be my salvation. I muddied the waters a bit with striving, religion, and other junk, but there was true relationship. And throughout my walk, I have drawn conclusions from my experiences with Him and from the Word. I would call that "theology" or "doctrine." My doctrine was derived from relationship, not as a means to arriving at relationship. But for some reason, I found myself trying to teach that doctrine as if it would help people arrive at relationship, then getting frustrated when others weren't having the same results. It recently hit me (yeah, stupid me!), that maybe what Jesus was saying "your love for me is evident by you obeying what I command", not "if you obey me, you'll do these things and it proves you love me." I believed the former for myself, but applied the latter to others. Wow! What a pharisee I had become!!!

But as I pondered this, Father was showing me what was behind this. If I receive a revelation, derive doctrine from it and teach it to others, I could captivate an audience, probably build a following, and look pretty darn good, holy and righteous in the process. And in that process, I'd be putting my yoke of religious duty around His people...and it is better for me to have a millstone around my neck at that point. Ouch! That's building something...but I think He made it clear - He builds the house!

I was talking to someone recently who was talking about organizational structure and how Jesus had this sort of structure to His ministry. He had the 3 beloved disciples, then the other 9, then the 70 he sent out, then the multitudes that followed Him. First problem is, from the time of the miracles with the bread, to the day of pentecost, what happened to the multitudes? I'm thinking they were following Jesus the man because of 'the show', what was in it for them, or their comfort, and not true relationship. Could I be on to something? What was my motivation? Another problem in the same vain is, Jesus spent much of his time telling these people to engage the Father. John 14:7 says, "Had you known me, you would know my Father." He was pointing people to the Father and to have relationship with Him. How much am I doing that? Most of what I wanted was "Follow me as I follow Christ." Yuck!

And I arrive here at this place as a close friend deals with the emotions of being told "he's not walking with the Father because he's not part of 'this new thing' God is doing." Huh? I think I've been guilty of that a time, or two, too. The funny thing is, I think God has been trying to do 'this new thing' for 2000 years, but we keep getting in the way. It isn't anything new. If it were, and I'm a part of it, I must be somebody or something special. It isn't about homechurch/cell groups/home groups/organic growth/blah/blah/blah, how long we worship, or how long we pray, or who is prophesying, or any of that stuff - not that stuff is all bad in and of itself. God doesn't seem to be about form. He shows up where He wants to, we just need to yield to that. Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within you...I think I'm finally learning to rest in that!

Doctrine and Relationship: Part I

I'm enjoying a season of new found freedom in the love of the Father. The simple truth of the commands "Loving God" and "Loving my neighbor" has taken on new meaning, and in doing so, revelation has come - what is true relationship, and why do I keep trying to build something?

"Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain." (Psalm 127:1a)

So what does it mean to allow the Lord to build His house? I used to get really into this sort of thing - what does the last-day church look like? where does the 5-fold ministry fit into that? where are the signs and wonders? what is His plan for my life? All this analyzing, striving, and anxiety over what to do and how to get there. Why was I so focused on the form? It has been some time that I've come to the understanding of the form not being all that important. I used to lead the parade of banner wavers for home church, but that seemed to be just religion in the home...I was disillusioned...so what was I to do?

Now I'm understanding this a little better. I am to live in a life lived loved by my Father, and seize opportunities that He gives to love "my neighbor." What a concept! I've slowed down life enough to see His presence in engaging with people I wouldn't have chosen left to myself. Places I would never expect, either - Lowe's, the beach, the lake, in my cube at work, etc. And it took no force or manipulation, no need to drive the conversation one way or another...all this, and it didn't happen in a church building, during a meeting, or at a 'home group.' Could this be how He's building His church? Taking a group of nobodies with no agenda and allowing Him to arrange appointments, meetings, encounters, etc. for when and what we need? I always thought I needed to find a group of "likeminded people" so we could "fellowship" on things we agreed on...hmm...maybe I was struggling with a complex of wanting to be accepted...hmm...

The most freeing part of this journey for me now is this - Jesus said when you pray, pray like this, "give us this day our daily bread." I was always looking to the future, and today was only relevant in how it applied to how I was getting to my destination. The destination was basically how I was to build a ministry for Him. So with my attention focused so much on "my destiny and purpose", I was missing out on the today...the people He had right in front of me who He wanted to use to touch me, and He wanted me to sew into. This wasn't about me ministering down to people and gaining a following, as though I was an authority on something...that's not very humbling...He didn't want me to arrive at that place, and by His grace I don't think I'm there. But now I don't need to worry about the future. Jesus said today has enough worry of its own. If by His grace He reveals something down the road, my flesh wants to fill the gaps and arrive at the destination without Him...so now I find myself at rest, living out each day with Him. What a freedom!

More on this later...

The Danger of Defining Form

I've heard a lot of discussions regarding 'church' and what constitutes 'church' as of late. I've heard about "new moves" that are coming, that are happening now, and how God is going to build the church.

I found this along the journey on the internet:
http://www.lifestream.org/bodylife.php?blid=32

I'm finding that whether in the church, doing homechurch, attending cell groups, etc., it is a matter of the heart. Are we loving the Father? Are we loving our neighbor? I used to be a banner waver for home church/fellowships, only to realize I was just advocating "bringing the religion home." Yuck! "Church" is where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name.

I also found this:
http://lifestream.org/blog/2008/02/29/live-in-love-a-message-from-the-sudan/

It definitely gives some perspective. Why do I waste all this energy and time? Who am I to know the form of God and His church!?! Who can fathom Him and His ways? Don't I only see in part?