Lessons from the Trenches: James 1 With New Eyes

Since embarking on this adoption journey, I've been very familiar with James 1:27.  But this week I decided to do a little study of the passage in it's context.  Some amazing things lept from the pages.  This is the passage from the Mirror Translation:

It was his delightful resolve to give birth to us; we were conceived by the unveiled logic of God.  We lead the exhibition of his handiwork, like first fruits introducing the rest of the harvest he anticipates. Consequently my beloved brethren,  (when you are faced with temptation and contradiction) ponder the Word that reveals your true origin, do not ponder the problem; that is how frustration is conceived. Rather remain silent than to give anger your voice.  (Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.)  Anger distorts the picture and brings no credit to compliment God’s righteousness. Get rid of any remaining residue of evil that polluted your life before.  Welcome with sensitive embrace the word that powerfully conceives salvation in your soul.  (The inner man, your mind and emotion.)  By being a mere spectator in the audience you underestimate yourself (you come to an inferior conclusion about who you really are) . You are God’s poem; let his voice make poetry of your life!  The difference between a mere spectator and a participator is that both of them hear the same voice and perceive in its message the face of their own genesis reflected as in a mirror; they realize that they are looking at themselves, but for the one it seems just too good to be true, he departs   (back to his old way of seeing himself)never giving another thought to the man he saw there in the mirror.   The other one is mesmerized by what he sees; he is captivated by the effect of a law that frees man from the obligation to the old written code that restricted him to his own efforts and willpower. No distraction or contradiction can dim the impact of what he sees in that mirror concerning the law of perfect liberty (the law of faith) that now frees him to get on with the act of living the
life (of his original design.) He finds a new spontaneous lifestyle; the poetry of practical living.  (The law of perfect liberty is the image and likeness of God revealed in Christ, now redeemed in man as in a mirror. Look deep enough into that law of faith that you may see there in its perfection a portrait that so resembles the original that he becomes distinctly visible in the spirit of your mind and in the face of every man you behold...Meaningless conversation is often disguised in religious eloquence. Just because it sounds sincere, doesn't make it true. If your tongue is not bridled by what your heart knows to be true about you, you cheat yourself.  The purest and most uncompromised form of religious expression, is found at its source. God is the Father of mankind (para, a preposition indicating close proximity, a thing proceeding from a sphere of influence, with a suggestion of union of place of residence, to sprung from its author and giver, originating from, denoting the point from which an action originates, intimate connection). He inspires one to take a genuine interest in helping the fatherless (orphans) and the widows in their plight, and to make sure that one’s own life does not become blemished in the process. 

 So building on this week's breakthrough in my relationship with Father, I realized that while mesmerized by what I saw, and wanting to reflect Him more, anger and frustration was causing me to do more spectating than doing.  But that has changed.  I can see now the poetry He is beginning to write.  The problem comes when faced with the cost.  Jesus said it would take it all.  And it does.  Ouch!  So here we are, putting everything "on the altar" of sorts, giving up homeschooling, going out as a family, different activities, church as a family, and even sitting and eating a meal together.  We've had to let it go.  No expectations.  Entitled to nothing.  We're in this to redeem - to be used by God to bring redemption in the earth.  But as I let go and surrender to Him what it takes to restore this little guy in our home, I can't help but feel a little resentful.  And I find myself considerably offended multiple times throughout the day as our little guy "protects himself" by pulling back, rejecting us, and hurting us with his words and his actions.  So I find myself focused on the problem.  James says, "ponder the Word that reveals your true origin, do not ponder the problem; that is how frustration is conceived."  I was frustrated.  Why?  I was focused on the problem and I forgot who I was.  I am man, He is God.  I wanted to control the outcome, but I don't get to do that.  To the degree I was frustrated with our little guy's unwillingness to relinquish control of his life to us was directly correlated to my inability to relinquish control to a heavenly Father waiting to love us in and through our situation.  And as I remained frustrated, I could feel bitterness beginning to take root.  James said "to make sure that one’s own life does not become blemished in the process."  James must have known this caring for the fatherless would take quite a lot of work!